5.
Go To RehabAmy Winehouse may have said 'no, no, no', but even she caved eventually and checked herself into a clinic for thinking crack was whack. After all, detoxing at home can be so difficult - even if the closest you've come to a drug is a couple of aspirin. At a rehab clinic you'll have a dedicated team of nurses to see you through withdrawal and luxurious surroundings to make the healing process all the more enjoyable. Highly recommended in London is celebrity favourite The Priory, while those stateside in LA should visit Promises. If rehab is good enough for Britney and Lindsay, it's certainly good enough for you. So get yourself admitted at once, rid yourself of your demons and become dependent on nothing and nobody but yourself.
4.
Have A Sex Scandal
You're nobody until you've endured a sex scandal. Paris Hilton launched a whole career out of her leaked tape, while Kim Kardashian followed suit with a rather poor imitation with R&B star Ray J. Like Kim, we suggest snagging somebody famous to star with if your main aim is fame; with seemingly no talent other than, er, the obvious, the bootylicious babe now has her own God-awful reality show to boast of and a string of advertising deals. Sex sells and the whole world is buying, so go all out and put out. Just be sure to smile for the camera.
3.
Split Up
Splitting up is the new getting together. Britney and K-Fed did it, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills didn't wait for death to part them (though Paul may have wished it) and Guy Ritchie and Madonna got shot of each other - hell, even Prince Charles and Diana flouted tradition by very publicly untying the knot! Forget engagement parties, hen nights and big white weddings - ditch your other half immediately and stay single for 2010. Loneliness is the new black.
2.
Have A Mugshot
Normal Facebook photos are out, mugshots are in. We're not suggesting you do anything that will have you marched into the gas chamber or banged up for life, but breaking the law just a little bit might mean you get a much sought-after mugshot. Look fabulous and say 'cheese' - you'll be the talk of Facebook chat.
1.
Go Gay
Straight is so last year, so do an Elton John and bat for the other team - at least briefly. You can get married and have kids later. It'll drive the press wild.
